00:00
00:00
View Profile CardboardowI

72 Audio Reviews

45 w/ Responses

Your best thing on newgrounds

This is more your style or something, it's better done then your other stuff.

A couple things.

The guitar intro was good, but you could make the fade into the next guitar a bit better.

When you switch to techno I don't like the first instruments that come in, but i enjoy what it develops into.

You can always work on instrument balance and equalization throughout the whole thing.

The guitar riffs were very good and I really enjoyed the ending.

Work on your transitions.

sorry

I didnt really like this song so much, so brace yourself.

The quality of the sound is pretty low grade, i read this was the first thing you made with this program, so you should proly experiment with the equalization and instruments in that program.

As far as the music itself goes, I felt the song was boring. There wasn't anything to really hold on to, by that i mean something you could go walk away and whistle. I felt no real direction with the piece, no build up, no real tension, no resolution. That all may just be my taste tho.

The synth and weird effects you used didnt make me happy either. they just kind of annoyed me. didnt feel like it fit with the music, didn't set a tone, and if you were trying to set an ambience or what, but I didnt get it.

Also it sounds like it almost cuts off and restarts at one point.

There are alot more things I could say but i'll just really keep it to myself since I think this song needs ALOT of work to improve.

Sry bro, just being honest.

needs work.

This song has been redone so many times that when you do it, you better do something really special.

You need at least one of these,

1: An original mix: This song wasn't very original (I know it's a cover) but as far as remixing you didn't change the music itself much, nor did you add much TO the music.

2: Good quality sound: Since this is such a popular song, it has to sound great. All of your instruments sound like they were generated by a computer. Idk what program you are using, bt you should look into to tweaking the sounds and learning how to effectivily equalize to get a better quality of sound.

3: Vocals with lyrics: Many people like to invent lyrics to make it more interesting, or simply sing the melody. people are more interested (generally) by voice and lyrics more than instrumentation.

4: live play: if you could play a main part and make it very musical over the fake stuff that would also be good.

You don't really have any of this qualities, but I'm sure you could go back and make it sounds tons better.

could potentially be a good mix (I do hear some things that could be brought out)
but needs work.

I'm not trying to be mean, just constructive.

Go ahead and review me if it would make you feel better ;)

KatzuyaSagara responds:

xD You are not mean, seriously.

I like constructive critisism, but I think that, you are a little exaggerated, I mean, I'm not taking this "remixer" thing so serious, is more of a hobby.

Also, I'm not a professional, and personally, and to tell the truth, I don't know about synths and that stuff, I do my remixes "by heart".

Do not be so exigent =).

Take Care, and God Bless You.

Thanks for listening.

Close to perfect. 8.5

Hey, ahead of time, sorry for taking so long, but i havent been on newgrounds in awhile it's been a busy summer.

*Ahem*

It's quite the cover, very well done but I only have a few tips.

In the very begining, I think the bells could be pulled back a little bit. they are loud to the point where it's almost distracting from the piano.

As for the piano playing itself, it feels way too fake or electronic. I'm aware that it is fake, but your job is to make it sound as close to real as possible.

You can fix that with velocity on diffrent notes, some simple cresendos and decresendo's and maybe changing some aspects of the looped portions, not the notes themselves, but just about everything else. expressions, volumes, velocity, effects, etc.

you could also have a bit more build up into the portion at 1:08 since it seems to be the apex of the piece.

Other then that well done. i give it an 8.5

Rhyhart responds:

Thanks man I'm really glad you liked it. The piano seems fake because I recorded it with my keyboard and fl studio is a real pain sometimes. Glad you liked it though. Thanks for the review.

aight

Could do alot more with the piano solos, and maybe key down the repetition a bit. It feels like it drags on awhile.

id go into a bit more detail but I'm very sleepy.

All in all, could be better, but you didnt put enough effort into it.

CAK3MAT3 responds:

thx ^^ ..itsjust tht i did this a long time ago///a very very long time ago :)

Things to work on,

rhythm consistency

Recording quality

Distortion levels

Transitions.

Also, the champ battle has way to many parts to be played well by one instrument. u need other stuff in there.

ian6 responds:

yeah but im a guitarist so thats all i know how to play

goood work.

Filtering everything is not always the answer. A few times in the song I felt like u were gonna stop doing the filtered feeling of having half a sound and break it down, and you just did a crash and went back to the same instruments. I'm pretty sure you could make it more epic by breaking away from that.

Beats could be doing more since right now u just have a kick and a clap, with the snare rolls and crashes at the ends and starts of phrases.

On another note, cymbal crashes are good, and can be used alot, but you tend to use it at the end and beginning of almost every phrase and it's also the same one every time. It takes away from it's effect every time you use it. Try to change that up.

Echoes are pretty good, but could be adjusted in diffrent parts of the song.

fading could be a bit more subtle and cleaned up a bit.

Snare rolls could be done better with a bit more growth.

The melody itself is pretty good though. Just things here and there that could use work.

Last thing, the main melody you have is similar throughout, but since u have the slow bits in there as transitions, use those as excuses to change octaves or instruments or stack or something since you only use that one sound during ur more trance like parts.

Let me know when you have the finished product, id love to hear it.

Therm0 responds:

Well hey, not saying I disagree with you (because I agree) but I've already finished the song. :S I really try to avoid going back and changing a song, because that way I can save the advice for a newer song. Thanks for the suggestions, though.

definitely not a warriors saga.

There are about a few dozen little things im gonna leave out, because there are so many larger problems with this song right now, that those wouldn't even matter. However, I'll list a few that I hear as I listen to it a few times.

First of all the majority of the beats you have going stress the wrong parts of the beats alot of the time.

You just switch instruments waaaaay too often, suddenly, and it makes it feel very "thrown together.

There are almost no fade ins, no fade outs, and despite having this many different instruments, you hardly ever have more then 3 going at once. This suggests that you too many unorganized ides.

The various chords early on are harsh

The bells at 2:15 are dissonent without being resolved, solo dissonence is very bad.

The switch from bells to guitar/organ is very akward since it doesn't share a similar theme with the bells at all, it's completly contrasted, and even when it actaully comes all the way in, it fades away, it felt like wasted time.

The hit at 3:30 leads to nothing, it's just a hit to hit.

Whats with the weird fade at 3:19?

At 4:27 those riffs are completly out of the blue, have nothing to do with anything, and doesn't really go with that main theme you've got going the whole time, and like most of the other parts of your song, fade away immediatly and suddenly.

I have alot more things I can say, but there are waaaay too many things to just go on and list and list.

So here are the big picture things.

You have your main idea theme which comes in early, and you have it stay until the end. That would be fine, however,

It never develops, changes, alters, stacks, or does anything but repeat itself. You can't do that in a song nearly as long as yours.

You have WAY too many random things going on without development, a coherent line, or familiarity. Also, they just jump in, with no leading into them at all, they don't tie to the main theme, or to each other at all, melodically, harmonically, rhythmically, they aren't even in a similar instrument family. It ends up feeling like a bunch of different songs not related at all crammed into 5 minutes.

Whenever you create dissonance, it doesn't resolve.

about 80% of the time it definitly doesn't feel like a warriors saga. It feels more like the bakers saga, his wifes saga, the dragons saga, the janitors saga, and some random guys saga all at the same time.

In short, you need more organization and musical relationships between all the parts you've shoved into one song before this can even begin to work.

I may come off as harsh or rude, but I AM trying to HELP you. Redo this song with what i've said in mind, resubmit it, and let e know when you do, then we can work out little details like the dozens i've neglected to mention.

If it makes you feel better, you can always visit my songs and give them honest reviews.

Remake, and let me know when you do so i can come check it out again.

contrasting ideas

Well from the get go what you have going isn't really the idea of relaxing. The percussion is so fast and upbeat, you expect the melody and song to match as well, but it doesn't. It creates an unwanted conrtast especially in this style of music.

If you took the beats down to nearly half speed, or anything slowr really, it would help immensely.

Other then that, the music itself is pretty solid, however I feel the main chords you have going with the string like synths could do a bit more. They could fade in and out more during various parts to help build and release tension. A of now there are almost no dynamics involved.

You could also bring the piano parts out more, and more often.

If you wanted to make a relaxing chilled out song, make sure everything you are doing is dedicated to that goal. Just cause something sounds cool doesn't always mean it's appropriate.

I know you worked 7 hours on it and you didn't want to hear negative feedback, but im just trying to help and make sure future work are improvements, or even this would could be edited.

If you makes you feel better you can do the same for me and my works.

Good luck,

CB.

Radosh responds:

Ok I understand that you want to help me .. But I'm only 15 and I didnt know how to play the notes xD SO I play by ear .. I like this song .. and I think that it will not change anything .. Anyway, thanks for review

I prefer it.

This is better then the original, however you don't get a ten because it's a remix. I only give 10's to originals.

However, it was very good work.

The only part i feel that could have been better was around 0:53. It dropped off to suddenly, and didn't have enough reason to.

downloaded and favorited.

Male

Joined on 2/10/10

Level:
2
Exp Points:
20 / 50
Exp Rank:
> 100,000
Vote Power:
1.98 votes
Rank:
Civilian
Global Rank:
> 100,000
Blams:
0
Saves:
0
B/P Bonus:
0%
Whistle:
Normal