Random
I think you could make ur rhythm a bit more organized and really get something together that could make people tap their foot. as of now its just too random, kind of funny, but it could be better.
The bell melody is a little lack luster as well.
You could use some dynamic level differences in this, especially in the base, it's pretty repetitive.
Needs more direction. right now its just floating randomness
overall it's ok, but could be better. wouldn't really download it.
I appreciate the specifics. This was the first tune I ever made with Logic, and TBH the squeaks and synth sounds were made when I accidentally copied the drum pattern onto the wrong track & was like "derrrr, hey that actually sounds kinda cool." You're right about the dynamics too. Thanks for the constructive feedback.
Dirty.
Rough and heavy. If you like that sort of thing ok, but personally I think you could make the same music sound better if you smoothed it out and turned down the kicks a bit.
melody has potential.
I agree on lowering the kicks. Smoothed it out already EQ'ed my ass off. It's clear.
Thanks for dropping an review!
needs meat
This whole song feels like the frame work for a real song thats not really there.
Your main "melody" which you repeat over and over is largely stepwise, rhythmically even and uninteresting until about 3 :15.
It largely improves after that point, however it's still missing somethings.
As of right now, the song feels largely ambient, without a very solid direction.
It feels like it's building towards something that never really comes.
The reason for this is the song never really changes much stylistically except for that change around three minutes so it feels like it's all "one part" of a song, rather than a whole song itself.
Try changing the instruments that the main melody is played on, make the melody a bit more complex or add a bit of effects to the mix.
There's also very little tension and resolution going on. most of the piece is simply fluttering around, and feels like a collection of sounds rather then a single piece.
Creating points of tension can help create direction.
Also, you add intensity to your background stuff that's going on, which is fine, but yo rarely give the melody the attention it deserves. if you are changing up the other parts and making them more intense/interesting, you end up listening to that stuff more rather than the main line. it takes away from the drive.
I have a couple more things i could touch on but i dont want to say TOOOO much.
To give a VERY brief summary of what i said:
The best part of the piece is from 3:15 until the fade out. You need to make the rest of the song like this, with drive and melody, rather then ambiguity and repetition.
Finally a real review!
for that alone I thank you.
In my description of the song I did point out that the song was lacking.... something.
which is quoted here.
"Also, this song seems to have a lack of.... "Flavour" or "Depth" whatever it is, I cant figure out how to fix it, however the lack of this depth or flavour is really getting to me.
Can anyone notice this lack in the song?"
I really have no idea what to do in order to add more, without actually over cluttering the song. which, I can tells its already borderline clutter.
umm, in terms of the rest of the review I.E. Lack of tension, and resolution.
I'm slowly working my skills upwards, as I still consider myself very amateur at composing.
As for the main melody that is repeated over and over again, is because this is the continuation of "The Voyage" which is the first song, which started and anded with the same melody but reversed.
thats the whole reason for the voyage, its to set the stage with the use of a highly reverberated piano tune.
I might try to add a little more, or fiddle around with a few of my effects to try and add more depth, and try to make a clear melody.
Thanks alot for a reall in-depth review! It is really appreciated!
needs work.
This song has been redone so many times that when you do it, you better do something really special.
You need at least one of these,
1: An original mix: This song wasn't very original (I know it's a cover) but as far as remixing you didn't change the music itself much, nor did you add much TO the music.
2: Good quality sound: Since this is such a popular song, it has to sound great. All of your instruments sound like they were generated by a computer. Idk what program you are using, bt you should look into to tweaking the sounds and learning how to effectivily equalize to get a better quality of sound.
3: Vocals with lyrics: Many people like to invent lyrics to make it more interesting, or simply sing the melody. people are more interested (generally) by voice and lyrics more than instrumentation.
4: live play: if you could play a main part and make it very musical over the fake stuff that would also be good.
You don't really have any of this qualities, but I'm sure you could go back and make it sounds tons better.
could potentially be a good mix (I do hear some things that could be brought out)
but needs work.
I'm not trying to be mean, just constructive.
Go ahead and review me if it would make you feel better ;)
xD You are not mean, seriously.
I like constructive critisism, but I think that, you are a little exaggerated, I mean, I'm not taking this "remixer" thing so serious, is more of a hobby.
Also, I'm not a professional, and personally, and to tell the truth, I don't know about synths and that stuff, I do my remixes "by heart".
Do not be so exigent =).
Take Care, and God Bless You.
Thanks for listening.
Close to perfect. 8.5
Hey, ahead of time, sorry for taking so long, but i havent been on newgrounds in awhile it's been a busy summer.
*Ahem*
It's quite the cover, very well done but I only have a few tips.
In the very begining, I think the bells could be pulled back a little bit. they are loud to the point where it's almost distracting from the piano.
As for the piano playing itself, it feels way too fake or electronic. I'm aware that it is fake, but your job is to make it sound as close to real as possible.
You can fix that with velocity on diffrent notes, some simple cresendos and decresendo's and maybe changing some aspects of the looped portions, not the notes themselves, but just about everything else. expressions, volumes, velocity, effects, etc.
you could also have a bit more build up into the portion at 1:08 since it seems to be the apex of the piece.
Other then that well done. i give it an 8.5
Thanks man I'm really glad you liked it. The piano seems fake because I recorded it with my keyboard and fl studio is a real pain sometimes. Glad you liked it though. Thanks for the review.
aight
Could do alot more with the piano solos, and maybe key down the repetition a bit. It feels like it drags on awhile.
id go into a bit more detail but I'm very sleepy.
All in all, could be better, but you didnt put enough effort into it.
thx ^^ ..itsjust tht i did this a long time ago///a very very long time ago :)
Things to work on,
rhythm consistency
Recording quality
Distortion levels
Transitions.
Also, the champ battle has way to many parts to be played well by one instrument. u need other stuff in there.
yeah but im a guitarist so thats all i know how to play
goood work.
Filtering everything is not always the answer. A few times in the song I felt like u were gonna stop doing the filtered feeling of having half a sound and break it down, and you just did a crash and went back to the same instruments. I'm pretty sure you could make it more epic by breaking away from that.
Beats could be doing more since right now u just have a kick and a clap, with the snare rolls and crashes at the ends and starts of phrases.
On another note, cymbal crashes are good, and can be used alot, but you tend to use it at the end and beginning of almost every phrase and it's also the same one every time. It takes away from it's effect every time you use it. Try to change that up.
Echoes are pretty good, but could be adjusted in diffrent parts of the song.
fading could be a bit more subtle and cleaned up a bit.
Snare rolls could be done better with a bit more growth.
The melody itself is pretty good though. Just things here and there that could use work.
Last thing, the main melody you have is similar throughout, but since u have the slow bits in there as transitions, use those as excuses to change octaves or instruments or stack or something since you only use that one sound during ur more trance like parts.
Let me know when you have the finished product, id love to hear it.
Well hey, not saying I disagree with you (because I agree) but I've already finished the song. :S I really try to avoid going back and changing a song, because that way I can save the advice for a newer song. Thanks for the suggestions, though.
contrasting ideas
Well from the get go what you have going isn't really the idea of relaxing. The percussion is so fast and upbeat, you expect the melody and song to match as well, but it doesn't. It creates an unwanted conrtast especially in this style of music.
If you took the beats down to nearly half speed, or anything slowr really, it would help immensely.
Other then that, the music itself is pretty solid, however I feel the main chords you have going with the string like synths could do a bit more. They could fade in and out more during various parts to help build and release tension. A of now there are almost no dynamics involved.
You could also bring the piano parts out more, and more often.
If you wanted to make a relaxing chilled out song, make sure everything you are doing is dedicated to that goal. Just cause something sounds cool doesn't always mean it's appropriate.
I know you worked 7 hours on it and you didn't want to hear negative feedback, but im just trying to help and make sure future work are improvements, or even this would could be edited.
If you makes you feel better you can do the same for me and my works.
Good luck,
CB.
Ok I understand that you want to help me .. But I'm only 15 and I didnt know how to play the notes xD SO I play by ear .. I like this song .. and I think that it will not change anything .. Anyway, thanks for review
yup yup.
I really like this melody. and it was feelin pretty epic around 2:30. I looked over some of your other stuff, i didn't listen to anything the whole way, but i think this is proly ur best song.
However I find overall you have too many portions where you are building back up, I think you melody is good enough to carry most of the song with only a couple variations in intense mode teh whole time.
Also, the reason u got an 8 and not a nine is simply because of your bass instrument. I hate whatever it is. It's too synth and not enough deep sound. makes it sound like a grind almost.
other then that its a pretty solid 9.
Make sure to come by and check out and maybe review my stuff as well.
Thx! 8 is good too :) I take everything xD
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Joined on 2/10/10
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