CardboardowI's audio Reviews on Newgrounds

[Seppuku]

Definitely good, but maybe not accurate.

I actually think the guitar solos are TOO intense. they are so fast and energetic that it feels like someone would be trying to kill him instead of killing himself or something. It feels like a struggle, not really a sacred ritual.

I realize you wanted it to be tense but realize there are different kinds of tension. tension can be fear, physical struggle, hard choice, loss, deception, etc etc. make sure you get the right kind.

This is a fine work, very good piece, but I really don't feel like the guitar solos fit. everything else fits really well, but they are just too much for me.

it may have worked if the guitar solo's was the fight he lost, and therefore lost his honor and had to kill himself, but you said it already started after that decision was made.

It sounds like I may be splitting hairs, but you posted this on OCremix as well which makes me think you want it to be a theme for a game scene or something, and it's really important that you get across the emotions as accurately as possible to heighten the awesomeness of the experience.

DanJohansen responds:

I can understand your thought about it. Although to me, if I get a flesh wound from let's say a knife, the nerves in my body SCREAM out and I can feel an intense pain even if I don't show it. When you insert a mid-long blade into your stomach and cut your stomach open and twist the blade. Even if for a noble reason, the feeling of pain is very intense. And only extreme tensions like the solos can to me, describe that feeling in that way. I mean, imagine falling with your face into asphalt, moments later your nerves are SCREAMING in pain. Anyways, thanks for listening and giving it thought. Appreciate it!

PS: No, nothing for video-game's in mind for this track.

[Ghost Ninja]

Good beat, not so good melody

6.5

First two minutes are kind of boring. You build it up alot with simply repitition, I'm not very fond of the "voices" i don't know if it actually voices, but whatever it is that sounds like guys going ah ah ah ah, uh uh uh uh. Would have been cooler if you had a synth do it imo.

You did get a good beat going for a while there, but you didn't really develop the melody very well. it just repeated over and over and over.

Don't worry about being able to lay down a good beat and getting effects in there, you can do that. Work on keeping the melodic+harmonic line interesting. it gets old pretty fast. It's like you are hiding repetitive music behind effects and a beat. you want to use the beat and effects to ENHANCE a good melody, not hide it.

FacenessMonster responds:

thanks bro, its a pretty old song and by no means is it a masterpeice. i didnt really have much structure to begin with, glad you could give it some fair judgment.

[Looking Back Over the Dead]

Well done

You really sent the message you wanted to. I got a sense of mourning from it, but also a feeling of relief, knowing the worst is over.

Reminds me of final fantasy tactics. would be a good credits song.

SatanPown responds:

Thanks,
So happy I've managed to get my message across through lines and dots on a page
Satan Pown

[Forever is Never v2]

Sorry I took so long

Hey I just recently checked my inbox, sorry I took so long.

I don't really remember what I commented about last time, so I'll just cover stuff in here exclusively.

At the start, the intro feels a bit a rushed. I think that was to match the middle of the song where the tempo feels more appropriate. I really enjoyed how it picked up around 1:20 but don't make the intro worse, just speed it up during that gong part instead of making the first part sound weird.

The quality is a bit lacking, but it has a certain charm to it.

Originally I didn't like the flute as the solo thing, but It kind of grew on me. Maybe use a different instrument for the intro instead of the flute. I really liked it once the song picked up though.

Overall I remember had alot more comments the last time, so I'm pretty sure you improved ALOT! :D

I just think you could make it a bit louder (The whole thing) most of my other thoughts are just opinions.

String quality sounds alot better this time, And you have a much much better ending this time.

I enjoyed the drums and the song had a good theme going for it.

Remember there is always room for improvement, but good job!

SatanPown responds:

Thanks man,

I really appreciate your comments. And thanks for having another listen

Keep Rocking
Satan Pown

[Dance of the Canon ~AxY~Remake]

Good music, bad sounds

Your problem isn't with getting a good tune together, you can do that. you have an issue with making the tune sound good, via equalization and mixing and balance and all that junk. most of your instruments quality is lacking. try and explore instrument styles and adjust some equalization.

Also your bass could use a boost.

AxY101 responds:

thanks bud , ill take your advice

[CV: Pulse (Demo)]

Dirty.

In the good and bad way.

CognitionVault responds:

Dirty is our aim. Yes, the mix is bad at the moment. XD

[Draculas castle loop]

looping point could be better

I think you could extend it a bit, its pretty short even for a loop. And you could make the loop point it self a bit more interesting instead of just cutting it off.

Genraltweet responds:

Thanks the the review! This wasn't very planned out, I only have FL studio trail so it doesn't allow me to save my work and I didn't want to loose this forever because the main melody I thought was pretty good.

[Forever is Never]

Could use some quality improvements

The actual song itself isn't too bad, however the quality of sound you are getting leaves much to be desired. I especially don't like the first instrument you use to establish chords. it gets old fast, and doesn't really match which the rest of your orchestra-ish instruments.

I also find that the song doesn't really build up too much. it would help if you could create a bit more tension to resolve, it would make it more interesting. As of right now it's kind of reptitive and has no direction after you introduce all the instruments.

If you just added a high point to the song in the middle somewhere it would help alot. it's not that the song is bad it just feels like it's not a full song. stuff is missing.

Not good yet, but you are onto something.

6.5

SatanPown responds:

Thanks for the advice. I'll work with it. And finally someone who agrees that it is repetative.

Im new to composing so this helps a lot.
Thanks heaps

[Friday Night Lights]

heheh

I clicked on it and started listening, and at first i was like "this isn't exactly a friday night light, it's more like a club," then i read your description

as far as getting past that description, it's a decent song. it's just repetitive. REALLY repetitive. I mean i know it's club music, but you could definitely have a bit more variation in there, the song has the potential to be good if you built it somewhere. Right now it just kind of floats somewhere.

7.5

codbarley responds:

I was really focusing more on the mixing aspect. I wanted the perfect club sound, I payed less attention to the composition than i normally do :/

[F-Zero: Mute City (demo)]

too busy, needs some balance

The song itself is pretty good I just think you need to work on some balance.

The synths that are running the whole time are a bit loud in comparison and I think they could be toned down a bit. It's like they are competing with the rest of the song rather than complementing it.

The orchestra hits are cool but good be made a bit more interesting with dynamic diffrences as well, and the melody itself if left alone should be changing instruments or have a bit better quality going for it or something. I mean, this song is redone alot and im sure you want to stand out.

Drums are pretty good tho.

Cam3leon responds:

True true. I am still in the process of mixing it, but the synths are pretty overwhelming. The main melody's gonna have different instruments throughout, plus I'm throwing in a F-Zero Climax-inspired mix in there eventually. But yeah, thanks for the suggestions/feedback. I'll keep all that in mind.